THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE...

I've felt like I haven't spent a lot of time on my self.... o what would it be... self worth I guess. So I've decided to make a list of things I need to do to help me appreciate the beautiful moments of life. including some of the most wonderful moments I've experienced recently. So, here's my list of....THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE...


snowboarding. its such an epic feeling of gratification when i take that jump that i know i couldn't have done a year ago. its the feeling of flying. perfect control over gravity. It pushes me to my extreme physical exhaustion in a very gratifying way. I need the power and excitement to trump the boring nonsense that regular life entails.


laughing with my mom. Its one of the simplest joys. No one in this world knows me the way she does and the connection we have is by far the most genuine. I love her and love spending real time laughing and having a good time. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing mother.


dancing with my sisters. Because they are so much fun! and the silly moments are my favorite with them. I love how I can be my one hundred percent crazy self and they love me for it. Unfortunately they are now old enough to know how crazy I actually am:) lol.

hiking up to the waterfall at Adams canyon. I used to go up almost every day when I just got back from virginia. I loved being able to connect with myself and feel a bit more grounded. Plus there's nothing quite like the feeling of being removed from civilization:) Even thinking about it makes me want to be a kid again. Hiking up there with Ben, Phebe, Mckalle, Brady, Tai, Zaz, Robby and everyone else in the crew. I should try and get everyone together this summer for a big camping trip. If we schedule it pretty far in advance I might get more of the "posse" there. :)


building snowmen. I havent gotten all my snow clothes on and played in the snow in too long. Its so cozy and fun to be all snuggled up in layers and layers.

feeling the sun on my face. Thinking of summer. Remembering what it felt like to feel its warmth. walking home from church. with my heels at hand feeling the earth under my feet. :) i miss the sunshine. winters can be hard. i just need to get up on the slopes and do some snowboarding and enjoy the little bit of snow that's here:)


going to the park. which was always so special. I always think about Scotty B. always always.. and also pizza and playing frizbee:) those were such innocent days. Just all of us hanging out in the quite shade. When I look back to those moments it makes me envious of the simpleness that was my life. I honestly need to find these moments everyday. And learn to better myself every passing moment.

pictures

This reminds me of zach :)

Its been a while

My dreams have become less and less visually impacting. They've been coming with just an emotional pull for me to better things in my life. Mostly pulling for progression. The dream I had last night was me just moving through a scrambled array of nonsense of pictures and images and signs relating to becoming a doctor. Just like every one in this lonely world I've always wanted to become something great. To help people and "change the world" of course. Its a hopeless search of reaching my "full potential". Some days I feel closer than others. I know that everyone has dreams of doing something great in high school. But those wishes and dreams are rarely accomplished. Even if you played the guitar religiously you may never receive your "big break" and end up living in meritocracy just like everyone else. I was told just the other day not to get stuck in life but to find my truth and live it. I've named this blog Mi'Ma'amakim (out of the depths) for a reason. This is my truth.

:)

some things that made me happy today...

s
adorable baby pictures!


beautiful photography


pretty birdies:)

something too cute!

so i just love so much of what the internet has to offer craft wise! but this idea for a cake is just so cute!
a....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

so here is the end product of my birthday cake:)

Dreams...

Everyone knew that the new English teacher was crazy. She was a heavier dark woman with bloodshot eyes and a weird almost animal way of naturally reacting. Something about her didn't even seem human. So when one day in class, she started us reading up on witchcraft and demons, no one was surprised.

Starring up at the projector in the already erie dark room I realized that she was breathing heavy and staring right at me, like an animal waiting to pounce. When she caught me looking back her eyes changed to a smile and she just continued staring.

When class was almost over she assigned us our homework, which was to read up on the current terrors of our neighborhood. Several children where currently missing between the ages of newborn to five, with an additional 4 murders of children in high school plus 2 adults. As she refreshed our memory of the details it seemed like she almost knew where they were and had to suppress it. Giving us a clue that she had already given us everything we needed to find them. I knew she was talking about the witchcraft.

On my way out of class she stopped me and said that there was a darkness that was going to take Eden, and that Eden was a threat to the darkness.

I met up with Zach and started walking home. I explained what she had said to me on the way out and Zach stopped dead, "Isn't Eden what Mckalle called herself when she went to class with you last week?". I started to panic and called my best friend Mckalle. She let me know she was fine and that I was taking that crazy lady too seriously. "Six people have already died within the last month! just stay home and keep out of trouble!" I couldn't help but yelling, I was so scared for her.